Results tagged ‘ Vayeira ’

Vayeira

                                 Vayeira

“So Abraham hastened to the tent to Sarah and said, “Hurry! Three Se’ahs of unsifted flour, sifted flour! Kneed and make cakes!” (Bereishis, 18;6).
 
The Gemara (Bava Metzia, 87a) asks a seemingly insignificant question on this pasuk: Why did Abraham first say unsifted flour then sifted flour? Rabbi Yitzchak answers that Sarah wanted to give the guests (the 3 angels) unsifted flour (regular flour), while Abraham wanted to give the guests sifted flour (fine flour).
From here, Rabbi Yitzchak explains, we learn out that women are stingier with guests than men.
The Maharsha asks: With what right does Rabbi Yitzchak have to interpret the pasuk in that manner? Even if you explain the pasuk to be saying that Abraham wanted either unsifted/sifted flour, and that Sarah wanted the other–perhaps it’s the other way around!?!
The Maharsha explains that since we know that Abraham always “spoke little and did a lot” that he must have been the one who wanted to give the guests the fine flour.
But still, a problem arise s: Rabbi Yitzchak said that we learn out that women (presumably meaning all women) are stingier with guests than men. How can Rabbi Yitzchak learn out that all women are stingier than men regarding guests from this one incident?
The Gemara (Shabbat, 127a) speaks about the importance of welcoming guests. Rabbi Yochanan says that hosting guests is as great as coming early to the Beis Medresh. Rabbi Dimi of Neharda’a says that hosting guests is greater than coming early to the Beis Medresh. Rabbi Yehuda then says: Hosting guests is greater than receiving the shechinah (divine providence). He learns it out from the pasuk (18;3): “And he said, “My lord, if it please you that I find favor in Your eyes, please pass not before your servant.” Since Abraham interrupted his conversation with Hashem in order to host guests, Rabbi Yehuda learns out that hosting guests is greater than receiving the shechinah (divine providence). The Rambam explains the same–it’s more important to host guests than to receive the divine providence.
 
Rabbi Yochanan Zweig asks on the Gemara: How can hosting guests be of greater importance than receiving the divine providence? Hosting guests is a mitzva. Performing mitzvot brings one closer to Hashem. Therefore, if one receives the divine providence (and thereby becomes close to Hashem) then he has fulfilled the purpose of performing mitzvot! Therefore, how could Rabbi Yehuda and the Rambam explain that the 1 mitzva of hosting guests alone is more important than receiving the divine providence?!?
Rabbi Zweig answers: The greatest way to become close to a person is through emulation. In this case, Abraham knew that it’s more important to be like Hashem (and host guests–similar to how He hosts us in this world) than to speak to Hashem (and receive the divine providence). Rabbi Zweig explains that the reason we perform mitzvot is to become close to Hashem, and the reason we become close to Hashem is so that we could try to imitate all his ways. For that reason, the mitzva of hosting guests is greater than receiving the divine providence.
However, Rabbi Zweig then raises the question: What about all the other acts of Chesed (kindness)? Why is hosting guests the only act of kindness that’s greater than receiving the divine providence? There are many other great acts of kindness one could perform (e.g. visiting the sick, comforting those in mourning, etc.). Therefore, Rabbi Zweig asks: Why doesn’t the Rambam learn out that these acts of kindness are greater than receiving the divine providence, similar to hosting guests?!? There should be a general rule: Chesed (kindness) is greater than receiving the divine providence!?!
Rabbi Zweig answers: The mitzva of hosting guests is different than all other acts of kindness. All other acts of kindness simply require one to give…whether it be their time, effort, etc. The mitzva of hosting guests, however, doesn’t only require one to give–rather, Rabbi Zweig explains, it requires them to allow others to evade their space and give up their privacy.
Additionally, Rabbi Zweig answers: The Rambam describes the mitzva of hosting guests as a “chok”–a mitzva in which we don’t know the reason for. Naturally, when one understands why he’s supposed to do something, he feels good about himself after its completion. However, when the Torah tells you to do something and you don’t know the exact reason why-that mitzva becomes a lot harder to perform. Therefore, the Rambam explains that the mitzva of hosting guests is greater than receiving the divine providence.
 
Returning to our question: How can Rabbi Yitzchak (Bava Metzia, 87a) learn out that all women are stingier than men regarding guests from this one incident?
 
As we said, the mitzva of hosting guests requires one to not only give–but to allow others to evade their space and give up their privacy. Therefore, Rabbi Yitzchak said that women are stingier regarding guests than men because women are more effected by guests than men! When guests come over, the women’s space is more evaded than the men’s space (people are constantly coming in and out of the kitchen…etc.). Not only that, but it’s generally the women who do all the work (e.g. cooking, setting up the table, etc.). Rabbi Yitzchak didn’t say 0men are more generous than women.” Rather, Rabbi Yitzchak’s statement was only and specifically regarding guests. For this reason, Rabbi Zweig explains, Rabbi Yitzchak was able to say there’s a universal rule that women are more stingier than men regarding guests. And the reason for that is simply because more is being asked of them than the men–not that men are greater than women. Therefore, the bulk of the credit of hosting guests actually goes to the women. Additionally, not only do we see that the Gemara wasn’t speaking negative of women–but we see that it was giving them honor for fulfilling such a great mitzva to the fullest degree.
Rabbi Zweig goes on to explain that by hosting guests and allowing others to evade your space and privacy one emulates Hashem. How is this so? Before Hashem created the world there was only Him. He then decided to create the world and host humans, animals, etc. Therefore, we only exist inside of Hashem. The whole entire world belongs to Him, and each and every second that we are living on this world we are evading His space. Thus, by hosting guests we are emulating Hashem. For this reason, the Rambam and Rabbi Yitzchak (Bava Metzia, 87a) explain that the mitzva of hosting guests is of greater importance than receiving the divine providence.
Lastly, it should be noted that the mitzva of welcoming guests doesn’t only apply to hosting guests inside ones house. Rather, it applie s to all guests in all circumstances. For example, we learn from this week’s parsha that one should make a set place for davening (Bereishis, 19;27). However, if one comes to shul and sees a guest sitting in his seat what should he do? Should he still try to sit in his seat or should he daven elsewhere? We see clearly from Abraham Avinu that welcoming guests and showing them warmth is greater than talking to Hashem. Let’s all be constantly mindful of the saying “guests come first” and conscious of the great significance of welcoming guests.

Vayeira

                    Vayeira

In this week’s parsha we learn the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim (welcoming guests).

The Gemara (Bava Metzia, 87a) states that women are stingier with guests than men. What’s the reasoning behind this statement? (Note: This is actually not an insult to women).

Additionally, the Gemara (Shabbat, 127a) states that hosting guests is even greater than receiving the divine providence. However, the purpose of performing mitzvot is to get closer to Hashem, so how could performing just 1 mitzvah be greater than receiving the divine providence (and thereby becoming closer to Hashem)?

Let’s first see the greatness of chesed (kindness)…

The Mishna (Pirkei Avos, 1;2) states that the world “stands” on 3 things: torah, serving Hashem and acts of kindness. Interestingly, the Gemara (Avodah Zarah, 17a) states that one who only learns torah (and doesn’t perform acts of kindness) is considered as though they have no g-d. Furthermore, the Gemara (Shabbat, 127a) states that one who performs chesed receives reward in this world AND in the World to Come. Lastly, the Gemara (Yerushalmi: Peah 1;5) states that chesed is equal to all the other mitzvot combined.

Now, out of all the different acts of kindness in which one could perform, the Rambam (Hilchos Avel, 14;1) states that welcoming guests is the greatest one of them all. However, why is that? Why is welcoming guests greater than visiting the sick, comforting the mourning, etc?

Let’s see the greatness of welcoming guests…

The Gemara (Chagigah, 27a) states that one’s table (Rashi: welcoming guests) atones for one’s sins. Additionally, the Gemara (Shabbat, 127a) lists welcoming guests as one of the mitzvot in which one receives reward in both worlds. Furthermore, the Gemara (Sotah, 46b) states that one who escorts their guests receives “immeasurable” rewards! Interestingly, on the flip side, one who doesn’t escort his guests is considered a murderer. Lastly, the Midrash Tanchuma (Ki Teitzei) states that welcoming guests has the power merit children.

So, why is the mitzvah of welcoming guests so great? And why are women considered stingier than men regarding this great mitzvah?

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that by welcoming guests we are emulating the ways of Hashem (the whole world belongs to Hashem and we are all guests) which is the reason why were supposed to perform mitzvot and become closer to Him. For this reason, the mitzvah of welcoming guests is even greater than receiving the divine providence.

However, why is hosting guests the only act of kindness that’s greater than receiving the divine providence? Why does the Rambam (Hilchos Avel, chapter 14) state that welcoming guests is the greatest act of kindness?

Rabbi Zweig answers: All acts of kindness require one to give…whether it be their money, time, effort, etc. Hosting guests, however, not only requires one to give, but it requires one to “give up” their space and allow others to evade their privacy.

We could now answer why the Gemara (Bava Metzia, 87a) states that women are stingier with guests than men…

When guests come over, it’s the women’s space which is mostly being evaded! Women spend far more time at home than men. Therefore, it’s the women which are really giving up a lot when they have guests. Additionally, we could explain that women do all (or most) of the work by going through all the preparations for the meal. Thus, the Gemara wasn’t insulting women by stating that their stingy with guests…Rather, the Gemara was actually honoring women for they deserve the bulk of the reward when they host guests.

However, why does it matter if one gives up their privacy? What’s the big deal?

I think we could explain as follows: Chesed isn’t what you give, or what you do for someone else. Rather, chesed is the respect you give others and how you make them feel. The Rambam (Hilchos Avel, 14;1) explains that the term chesed (kindess) comes from the famous teaching of Rabbi Akiva that you should “love your fellow as yourself.” And why is that? Because the real meaning of chesed is that you should unite with your fellows and give them a feeling of happiness.

Therefore, I think we could now explain why hosting guests is so great…

When one hosts guests, they not only provide for others, but by allowing them to evade their space, they show that they feel a sense of togetherness. By hosting guests, one shows a true love for their fellows, for in essence they’re saying “your house is my house.”

When Avraham Avinu performed the mitzvah of hosting guests he made sure his guests felt very welcome and respected…The Torah (18;2) tells us that as soon as Avraham saw the 3 men he “ran” towards them. Then he bowed towards the ground in front of them. He then (18;3) referred to them as his “lords” and to himself as their “servant.” Avraham not only provided for his guests, but he made them feel united with him. He truly treated all of his guests as though it was himself.

Summary: The mitzvah of hachnasat orchim (welcoming guests) is the greatest of all acts of kindness (Rambam: Hilchos Avel, chapter 14). The Gemara (Bava Metzia, 87a) states that women are stingier with guests than men…Why? Because unlike all other acts of kindness, the mitzvah of hosting guests requires one to not only provide for others, but to give up their space and privacy (Rabbi Yochanan Zweig). And why does that matter? Because “chesed” (kindness) comes from the famous teaching of “Love your fellow as yourself” (Rambam: Hilchos Avel, 14;1). Therefore, when one performs chesed, they’re not only required to give, but their required to give others a sense of love, which is most felt when invited over someone else’s home.

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