Mishpatim
 
In this week’s parsha we have the sin of hearing lashon hara (23;1, see Rashi) and according to the Rambam the sin of speaking lashon hara as well.
 
There are a lot of difficult questions regarding lashon hara (literally: evil language, meaning: speaking bad about others)…Here are some of them:
 
Firstly, the Gemara (Erchin, 15b) states that lashon hara is equal to idolatry, adultery and murder all put together. However, what’s the reasoning for this? Why is lashon hara such a terrible sin? In fact, the Chofetz Chaim, Vilna Gaon and many other commentators classify lashon hara as the most severe sin in the whole torah! Why is this? (Note: See Gemara, Erchin 15b-16a, as to how severe lashon hara is).
 
Secondly, the sefer Orchot Tzadikim writes that one who accepts lashon hara (meaning, they believe it, or at least act as though they do) receives far greater punishment than one who actually speaks lashon hara. However, why should the listener be punished far greater than the speaker (who’s actually doing the sin) merely for participating?
 
Lastly, the Gemara (Berachot, 19a) states that one who speaks bad about the dead is considered to have spoken bad about a rock. And why is that? The Gemara explains that the dead either don’t know or they don’t care if others speak negatively about them. However, the Gemara later learns out from a pasuk that one who speaks bad about the dead will get thrown into gehinom (hell). Why should one receive such a severe punishment if the person being spoken about either can’t find out or doesn’t care? (Note: One is actually allowed at times to speak negatively of another if they know that person doesn’t care). 

Now, I think we could first learn out from the Gemara (Berachot, 19a) that lashon hara isn’t about the damage you are causing to the person being spoken about (for if that were the case then there should be no punishment since there’s no damage). Rather, lashon hara must be about hurting yourself and the listener. What damage is there exactly? I think we could explain that for the speaker, once he sees that he’s able to alleviate his pain and lift himself up by degrading others then he’ll continue doing it. Similarly, for the listener, once he hears the lashon hara (and accepts it), he will, in all probability, “continue the chain” and repeat it to others. Therefore, the speaker and the listener get severely damaged by causing themselves to get “hooked” on lashon hara.

However, granted that when one speaks lashon hara they’re hurting themselves and the listener-but why should they receive such severe punishments?

The sefer Orchot Tzadikim explains that lashon hara is so severe because teshuva (repentance) is almost impossible! And why is that? Because when one speaks negatively of others, nearly 100% of the time they can’t remember every person they spoke about (especially since it becomes addicting) and therefore can’t properly ask for forgiveness. Additionally, even if one can remember every single person they spoke bad about–they fail to realize that they hurt so many other people (besides the person they spoke about) indirectly by speaking lashon hara.

Similarly, I think we could extend that same idea to the listener. It could be that the listener receives far greater punishment than the speaker because it’s much harder for the listener to remember every single person they accepted lashon hara about–and complete teshuva therefore becomes virtually impossible.

Summary: Lashon hara (speaking negatively of others), according to many commentators (Chofetz Chaim, Vilna Gaon, etc.) is the most severe sin in the Torah. Why? Additionally, the sefer Orchot Tzadikim says that one who listens to lashon hara receives far greater punishment than one who actually says lashon hara. Why is that? Lastly, the Gemara (Berachot, 19b) says that one who speaks bad about the dead will get thrown into gehinom (hell), even though the dead either don’t know or care. However, why should they be receive such a harsh punishment? It could be that lashon hara is about causing harm towards oneself and the listener (not the person being spoken about), and one therefore receives severe punishment for speaking/accepting lashon hara about the dead. Additionally, it could be that the speaker receives severe punishment because teshuva (repentance) is nearly impossible regarding lashon hara (for it’s extremely difficult to remember every person one has spoken negatively of). Similarly, it could be that one receives far greater punishment for accepting lashon hara than speaking lashon hara because it’s even harder to remember every person you’ve believed something negative about than when you’ve actually spoken about them.