Behaaloscha

“Moses heard the people weeping by their families, each one at the entrance of his tent, and the wrath of Hashem flared greatly; and in the eyes of Moshe it was bad (Bamidbar 11:10).”

Rashi (11;10) states: “Our Rabbi’s said (Yoma, 75a) that the word “lemishpechosav” (by their families) means “over matters of families,” over “arayos” (forbidden relationships, I.e. Incestuous ones) which had been forbidden to them.”

However, since when do people desire to have a forbidden type of relationship with one of their family members? Why would a person desire to have a forbidden relationship with a member of their family? What’s the Gemara’s reasoning for claiming that the whole nation was crying because they had been forbidden to have certain kinds of relationships with members of their families?

Similarly, what exactly is the problem with a person having a forbidden relationship with a member of their family? A family member is someone you could trust and always rely on. It therefore needs understanding what exactly the problem is for a person to take their relationship with a member of their family to a whole new level. If anything it should be recommended as family members are naturally close to each other so there would be a lot more “Shalom Bayis” (peace at home)!?!

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that the nation was crying due to their commandment against marrying members of their family because they were afraid to marry “strangers” in which they were unfamiliar with. And what exactly was the problem with marrying people they didn’t know before? The people wanted to continue living their lives after marriage in the same manner that they were living before. As a result, they wanted to marry people in whom they had already shared many life experiences with and had already adjusted themselves to all their different views of life. However, marriage is about expanding one’s views and allowing for new perspectives on things. A couple is supposed to constantly work together and adjust to each other’s viewpoints. In a marriage both parties are supposed to expand their lives; opening themselves up and accepting other opinions.

We could now understand that the Gemara’s explains that the people were crying because they had been forbidden to marry their family members as the people were afraid of changing and having to adjust to different viewpoints. Similarly, we could now also understand that even though a family member is a person in whom one naturally feels a great connection to, it is nevertheless forbidden for one to marry a member of their family as part of marriage is about expanding one’s views and allowing for new perspectives.

                 Behaaloscha

 “Now the man Moshe was exceedingly humble, more than any person on the face of the earth!” (12;3)

The question arises: What does it mean to be a humble person? How does one measure humility? How could Moshe write himself that he was the humblest person in the world?

Additionally, the Gemara (Sotah, 49b) states that from the time Rebbi died there was no more humility in the world. Rav Yosef then responded that there is still humility in the world because he’s around. However, how could Rav Yosef say that there’s still humility because “I’m around”? That’s not being very humble!?!

Furthermore, the torah (Bereishis, 1;26) states “And Hashem said, “Let us make Man.” Rashi (1;26) is bothered by the pasuk because obviously Hashem created man–there’s no need to teach us that!?! For this reason, Rashi states that the torah is teaching us proper conduct and the trait of humility. Meaning, one should always seek advice from those lower than him. For this lesson, Rashi states, it was worthwhile for the torah to write something which could make other people think that other g-ds participated in the creation of man. However, what does it mean that Hashem showed humility? How could the Almighty be humble?

Lastly, what does one need in order to achieve real humility?

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that the real definition of humility is recognizing that every human being has something in which he doesn’t have. When Moshe would look at everyone he would see them in the image of Hashem–he would see all their positive qualities. We should all work to view others in the same fashion. The Ramban says: If you see someone younger than you, you should think he has fewer sins than you. If he’s older then he has more mitzvot.

Rabbi Zweig explains that a humble person has to feel very secure and be able to admit that others are greater than he is. If one feels threatened by the greatness of others then he diminishes what he actually has. One should always focus on what others have–not what they have and others don’t. It is only when one is able to put their areas of lacking aside that they will be able to achieve real humility.

Now, the Gemara (Kesubos, 5a) learns that the work of the righteous who built the Bais HaMikdash is greater than the work of Hashem who made the heavens and earth. However, how could it be that the work of man is greater than the work of his creator? Rabbi Zweig explains that Hashem’s work not being as good as man’s isn’t an imperfection in Hashem. There are many things that Hashem can’t do (e.g. He can’t kill Himself) but that doesn’t mean He’s not perfect. Hashem is simply always looking to give other people respect and allowing them to have their own space. This is what a humble person does. One who is humble is constantly looking to elevate others. However, this could only be done when one is able to relate towards others having things they don’t.

We could now understand why Rav Yosef said that there’s still humility in the world because he’s around (Sotah, 49b). Rabbi Zweig explains that what Rav Yosef was saying is that there’s no person in the world that he’s unable to have a relationship with because he was able to understand that every person had something he didn’t. When one is able to ignore the areas in which he’s lacking he will then be able to form a relationship with every person–like Rav Yosef, a truly humble human being.

Summary: The torah (Bamidbar, 12;3) states that Moshe was the humblest person in the world. However, how is humility measured? Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that the real definition of humility is recognizing that every human being has something in which he doesn’t have. Therefore, in order to become humble, a person has to feel very secure and be able to admit that others are greater than he is. In order to do this one should always focus on what others have–not what they have and others don’t.