Lech Lecha

“From there he relocated to the mountain ease of Beth-el and pitched his tent, with Beth-el on the west and Ai on the east; and he built there an altar to Hashem and invoked Hashem by name” (12;8).

Rashi (12;8) explains that the word “ohaloh” (his tent) is written with the same spelling as “ohalah” (her tent). Quoting the Medresh (Bereishis Rabbah, 39;15) Rashi states that this implies that Avraham honored Sarah by pitching her tent before his own.

The question arises: Why does the Torah teach us at this specific point in time that Avraham honored Sarah before himself?

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that the pasuk before (12;7) relates that Avraham built an altar. Rashi (12;7) explains that the altar was built “over the tidings of the offspring he would have.” Meaning, Avraham built an altar for Hashem as a sign of gratitude to Hashem as he knew that he was going to become a father. Once Avraham knew that he was going to become a father his whole view of his wife Sarah changed. It was then that he realized that Sarah was not only his wife but that she would also be the source of his continuity. Avraham then learned the great importance of Sarah’s role as a mother and recognized all the tremendous difficulties that the role entails. We could learn from here that a husband must always show his wife that they acknowledge the great importance/difficulty of their role and therefore give their wife the ultimate level of respect as in reality it is the wife who plays the most important role in a marriage. Thus, we could now understand that it is specifically at this point that the Torah chose to teach us that Avraham honored Sarah before himself as it was at this point in which he realized that he and Sarah would be entering new roles as mother and father.

Noach

In this week’s parsha the Torah (6;9) calls Noach a righteous man.

However, despite his righteousness, we find that Noach isn’t considered one of our forefathers. How could that be? He saved the whole world! If not for him then there wouldn’t be a Jewish nation!?! Therefore, why isn’t Noach considered one of our forefathers?

Additionally, the Zohar relates that Noach never davened for the people of his generation. However, Rashi (6;14) relates that Noach spent 120 years building the ark so that the people would repent. Therefore, if Noach was willing to spend 120 years building the ark so the people would repent then how could it be that he never davened for them?

Furthermore, the Rambam (Hilchos Avodah Zarah) relates that Avraham went around destroying other people’s idols (and he’s given credit for this). The Rayvad notes that other righteous people sought to destroy all the idols in their lifetime but were unable to because they were hidden. Avraham was the only righteous person who was able to find them because he went all around people’s property and found them. The question is: How is Avraham given credit for snooping around other people’s private property?

Further, the Gemara (Berachot, 10a) explains that people in Rabbi Meir’s neighborhood were giving him problems so he wanted to pray for them to die in order so that he could learn more torah. His wife (Berurirah) however told him that he should pray for them to repent. Rabbi Meir took his wife’s advice and they repented. The Maharsha asks 2 questions on the Gemara:

Firstly, how could Rabbi Meir not have thought of his wife’s idea to pray for them?

Secondly, how could it be that one could pray for someone else to do teshuva? A person needs to change themselves! Therefore, why did Berurirah tell Rabbi Meir that he should daven for the people giving him trouble?

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that we are all connected to each other and we therefore all have an obligation to help one another (e.g. through prayers). Therefore, we are all obligated to daven for others to do teshuva. Noach, however, felt separate from the rest of the world as he never united with them. Therefore, he didn’t pray for them to do teshuva because he didn’t feel like their wickedness was his problem. Similarly, Rabbi Meir thought that every man was only responsible for their own sins. As a result, he thought that he wasn’t obligated to daven for the people bothering him, and the best solution was therefore to get rid of them. His wife was therefore teaching him that we are all connected to each other and therefore responsible to make sure we all follow in the ways of Hashem.

Rabbi Zweig explains that the fundamental difference between Avraham and Noach was that Avraham showed other people that he sincerely cared about how they acted-whereas Noach was only concerned about himself. Rabbi Zweig explains that Noach dealt with humanity as something completely removed from him-a goyish philosophy. Therefore, Avraham is considered one of our forefathers (because of his care for others) whereas Noach isn’t.

Further, Rabbi Zweig explains that Avraham snooped around other people’s properties because he felt that all their evildoings was his problem. In order to relate to this feeling, consider the following example: One whose child smokes will go around everywhere to find their child’s cigarettes and destroy them. However, if one has a friend who smokes then they’ll merely try to talk them into quitting (one wouldn’t go to their friend’s house and destroy the cigarettes). Similarly, Avraham felt that everyone’s wickedness was his own problem and he therefore went all around people’s properties in order to find and destroy their idols. As a result, Avraham is considered better than Noach, as Noach in great contrast felt separate from everyone else.

             Bereishis

In this week’s parsha Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge and then gave Adam some fruit to eat from the tree as well (3;6).

Rashi (3;6) states that Eve gave Adam to eat ”so that she should not die and he survive and marry another.”

The question is: How could Eve kill Adam by offering him to eat from the Tree of Knowledge? Just because Adam could have married another girl later doesn’t mean she was right to offer him fruit from the tree! Why did Eve knowingly tell her husband to do something that would cause him to die?

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that the torah (2;21) says that Hashem created Eve from Adam (in contrast, Adam was created directly from Hashem). Rabbi Zweig explains that we learn from here that women get their sense of selves from men (as Eve, the first woman, was created from Adam, the first man). Meaning, all women get their sense of existence solely from their husbands. Women want to know that their husbands need them and that they cannot be replaced by another woman. Even if a woman feels as though they exist, if they feel as though their husband could replace them with another woman then that means that they are not really needed. Similarly, had Eve died and Adam survived to marry another woman then that would have meant that she really didn’t make a difference, for Adam could have simply married someone else. Rabbi Zweig therefore explains that a women’s sense of being must come from husband. As a result, Eve needed Adam to die to feel as though she was a necessary piece of his life. Adam on the other hand, Rabbi Zweig explains, was created completely from Hashem. As a result, in contrast to women, men get their sense of existence through connecting to Hashem.

Further, Rabbi Zweig explains that in marriage one has to give to their spouse even if they don’t feel as though they owe it to them. Similarly, no marriage could work if one has the the attitude of ”I’ll only give you if you give me,” for that defeats the whole relationship. One who says that shows that they only like their spouse for what they receive from them, instead of loving their spouse for the person they are. Rabbi Zweig explains that in order to show one’s spouse that they love them for the person they are one must give to them even when there is no need to pay them back for anything. Meaning, man should give to his wife in order to show his love, not simply to pay her back when she gives to him. Therefore, Rabbi Zweig explains that one must give to their spouse even if they haven’t received anything.

Rabbi Zweig explains that women need their husband to give to them for no reason at all (meaning: even when they haven’t received anything) in order to feel as though she exists. If one only gives to their wife as a sign of gratitude for all that they’ve received then that shows that their love is dependent upon everything he has received from her. A man has to give towards his wife even if she hasn’t earned or deserved anything. If one giving to their wife is dependent upon their receiving from her then she won’t feel truly loved, as she’s only getting loved because of what she has given–not for the person she is. Rabbi Zweig explains that women need man’s approval more than men need approval from women. Women ultimately find their sense of self solely from their husband. Therefore, a husband needs to be willing to gratify his wife whether or not she gives to him.

In closing, Rabbi Zweig explains that only in a marriage where the wife gets her sense of existence from her husband could the two merge and become like one. If one is weak and selfish then their wife will eventually feel the same towards him and many problems will arise. Therefore, it is extremely crucial for man to make sure to give towards his wife and show her that he is dependent upon her. In order to give her this feeling, Rabbi Zweig explains that one should initiate the giving instead of waiting to receive and then simply being responsive by giving back.

                                   Succos

The Holiday of Succos is referred to as our time of happiness (“zman simchataynu”). It therefore makes sense that the customs of the Holiday should be related to happiness. How exactly are we supposed to learn from observing the laws of Succos how to be happy?

Additionally, the Rambam (Hilchos Sukkah, 6;2) states that one who experiences pain from being in a Sukkah is exempt from the mitzvah. Why is this mitzvah different from all other mitzvot in which one is obligated to perform no matter how great the level of difficulty?

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that it’s a very well-known concept that “money doesn’t buy happiness.” Similarly, we find that the Mishna (Pirkei Avos, 2;7) states: “one who increases possessions increases worry.” The simple reasoning for that is the more possessions a person has the more they have to concern themselves with maintenance -which leads to stress, worry and anxiety. Interestingly, however, Rashi (Pirkei Avos, 2;7) explains that the reasoning for this is because people are naturally afraid of others stealing their things from them. As a result, the more possessions a person has the more the more they worry about their stuff getting stolen.

Rabbi Zweig explains that on Succos we are all obligated to leave our houses and eat outside in a Sukkah (provided that we are able to dwell comfortably in them). By dwelling in the Sukkah we then send ourselves a message that worst case scenario-even if we were to lose our house-we could still live comfortably as we are able to in the Sukkah. This could give a person a tremendous sense of happiness as one then realizes that they don’t have to constantly worry about losing their possessions as they have learned that they are able to deal with a big loss.

We could now understand that on Succos Hashem obligates us to dwell under a Sukkah in order to teach us how to be happy. Meaning, by dwelling in a Sukkah we effectively teach ourselves how we are able to deal with a terrible situation such as losing one’s home. Once a person realizes that they are able to live without their home (as they are comfortable living outside in the Sukkah) they are then able to realize that they are able to live without their other possessions. Thus, by dwelling in a Sukkah we are effectively able to teach ourselves how to be happy with our possessions as through leaving our homes without worry we are then able to realize that we don’t have to constantly worry about losing our other possessions as we know we could live without them!

Similarly, we could now understand that a person who experiences pain from dwelling in a Sukkah is exempt from the mitzvah as the purpose of the mitzvah is to teach us how to be happy by showing us that even in a worst case scenario we are able to cope without being able to live in our house. A person who finds it tremendously uncomfortable to live under a Sukkah is unable to gain this lesson and is therefore exempt from participating in the mitzvah.

Yom Kippur

The Gemara (Taanit, 26b) states that Yom Kippur and the 15^th of Av are the happiest days of the year because on those days they made shidduchim.

However, on Yom Kippur people go through so much suffering (I.e. starvation). Therefore, why does the Gemara (Taanit, 26b) consider it the happiest day of the year?

Additionally, what’s the reason why they would make shidduchim specifically on Yom Kippur (and the 15th of Av)? A large part of Yom Kippur is spent praying. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to set aside a different day to make shidduchim in order so that there would be more time?

Furthermore, the Medresh states that the holiday of Yom Kippur will always endure (even after Mashiach). However, out of all the holidays, why in specific will Yom Kippur endure?

Lastly, the Gemara (Yoma, 20a) states that on Yom Kippur man has no yetzer hara. However, if we have no yetzer hara then how is it that we sin?

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that after Adam ate from the Tree of Knowledge of good and bad he received a yetzer hara which gave him needs. Meaning, Adam suddenly had uncontrollable desires to do evil. Rabbi Zweig explains that people often do things (even to themselves) in which they have no desire for just so that they should be accepted by society. As a result, most of the things in which the yetzer hara persuades people to do don’t even give them any pleasure, as they merely act in a manner so that they could feel as though they have a place among society. Therefore, Rabbi Zweig explains that every time one sins they don’t even gain 100% pleasure, as they naturally feel bad for sinning.

Further, Rabbi Zweig explains that a person could still sin on Yom Kippur without a yetzer hara, as Adam sinned before he had a yetzer hara when he ate from the Tree of Knowledge. What then does the Gemara (Yoma, 20a) mean when it states that we have no yetzer hara on Yom Kippur? Rabbi Zweig explains that on Yom Kippur were liberated from our internal needs and pleasures. Meaning, on Yom Kippur we don’t feel addicted to worldly pleasures. Similarly, we could learn this out from the numerical value of the word “satan” (evil inclination) which is 364, as one day a year (Yom Kippur) we don’t have a yetzer hara. As a result, on Yom Kippur we have the ability to be totally in touch with ourselves, as we don’t have our usual internal craving to do evil. Therefore, anything we say on Yom Kippur is what we really want. Throughout the year our yetzer hara forces us to do things we really don’t want to do. On Yom Kippur, however, there’s no pressure from the yetzer hara so we could do what we truly want to do. Thus, any promise we make on Yom Kippur means that we really want to fulfill that commitment, so even if we don’t keep those promises during the year were still not hypocrites, as the yetzer hara simply persuades us to break those promises.

Furthermore, Rabbi Zweig explains that Yom Kippur is the happiest day of the year because on that day we could do whatever we want without any pressure from the yetzer hara. Meaning, even though we can’t enjoy all the worldly pleasures we nevertheless don’t feel deprived without them because we don’t have a yetzer hara. Therefore, the Gemara says that Yom Kippur is the happiest day of the year because on Yom Kippur  we don’t have the force of the yetzer hara driving against us and causing us to feel as though were not in control of ourselves.

Similarly, Rabbi Zweig explains that Yom Kippur is the perfect day for shidduchim because on that day were totally in touch with our real wants and desires. As a result, we are clear minded and know what to look for. Additionally, on Yom Kippur we are all able to realize who we really are (what are interests are, etc.)-so our spouses will be able to see the kind of people we really are (instead of who we are during the year when we are often controlled by the yetzer hara). Therefore, even though a large part of the day is spent praying it is nevertheless the best time to find our real soul mates.

Lastly, Rabbi Zweig explains that after Mashiach comes we will have no yetzer hara and our state of being will be the same as that of Yom Kippur. Thus, the Medresh says that the holiday of Yom Kippur will always endure.